why cant i go into hospital?
i have borderline personality disorder, am on daily meds and also prn meds and am seein a psychologist at the royal Ed. not so long ago, i was really really bad, i was self harming, suicidal and not in control of myself. my mom called nhs 24 for me (off her own back), they then said a cpn would call me back in a hour. my mom was in constant watch of me. i was like this for 3 days as i was alone for 3 days and felt alone and rejected and abandoned. by the time the cpn called me, i was much calmer and i told him i wanted to go into hospital cos i was out of control of myself. he told me even if i was not calm at the time, i still would not be able to go into hospital, but he never told me why. anyone got any suggestions. i thought if u were self harming and suicidle they hadda take u in … ?
im 24 years old
im aware they are not the same thing …. i was cutting and feelin suicidle at the same time, wanted to turn my arm over and press harder right on my wrists.
Hi,
I have borderline Personality Disorder and I can understand where you are coming from. The main reasons why they wouldn’t want to take you into hospital is because they would worry it’s a place that you will become dependant on every time you have a down period. Also because you were calmer after that period they probably felt that you didn’t need admitted because you were able to help yourself calm down, which is really positive too. It does not mean however that your feelings are not valid and important and that if you were in an awful state that you wouldn’t be admitted but maybe this time they felt it was better for you to try and stay at home with it. I know how hard it can be, i feel the same as you many times and did earlier this week and thought I may end up in hospital (i have been admitted in the past at one stage), however hospital wasn’t even open as an option for me, even though like you i was self harming and felt a danger to myself. I guess that the person dealing with you has to make an asessment, even on the phone of your level or reason and risk and from that they come to a decison on whether you need hospital or not. I have to say for borderlines in particular hospital can become the only place you feel safe after a while and you would start to be extremely dependant on it and find leaving very very hard, infact you may feel more suicidal at the thought of leaving because you are scared of being ‘alone’ again, which is a major issues for us who suffer with this condition.
If you aren’t already seeing someone regularly appart fom your psychiatrist like your gp, a cpn, key worker, counsellor etc ask your pshyciatrist for more support and tell them that you are having a very hard time and need to see someone for more support.
I hope my answer helped you a bit, i can very much understand your situation and I know how hard it is to keep going!
best of luck
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